When you’re drinking coffee and some spills out and sits on the lid and gets all cold and you don’t want to slurp it off cause that’s obnoxious but how can you just leave it there?
When someone high fives you as a greeting cause for crying out loud people this isn’t youth group I don’t have the time or the energy to be throwing my hand against yours.
When the person in front of you is walking minimally slower than you’d like them to so you have to decide if you should just suck it up and trudge on toward death, or try to sneak around them like you’re a car in the passing lane of a sidewalk and look a little overzealous at best.
When you meet someone and you don’t know whether to go for the handshake or not so you start moving with your hand and then THEY don’t know whether to go in for the handshake.
Websites that have huge SIGN UP links and really tiny almost invisible sign in links. I shouldn’t have a less exciting clicking experience just because you’ve already roped me into your schemes.
When you type haha and it autocorrects to gags cause yes, iPhone, obviously GAGS is relevant to this conversation with my grandma about Florida weather.
When the same commercial pops up every commercial break on hulu cause YES I UNDERSTAND YOU WANT ME TO BUY TOILET PAPER BUT I DON’T CURRENTLY BUY MY OWN TOILET PAPER ON ACCOUNT OF A LIVE IN A DORM LEAVE ME ALONE.
When someone greets you with “What’s up?” Cause they have just administered a multiple choice quiz that you are destined to fail. They either want:
- Just going to lunch, ya know?
- Great, how are you?
Good luck taking your chances on this social interaction from the depths.
Until next time,