I didn’t vote yesterday. I didn’t do it. And I was angry about it for twelve straight hours and every time someone posted a new voting picture on Instagram my blood pressure spiked and it was in no way healthy.
This is the first election I was old enough to vote in. And yeah I know it’s my own fault, but I have no idea how to register to vote. Or when to register to vote. Or how to get an absentee ballot. Or how to send an absentee ballot. Or really anything about our American voting system at all. And I believe that is today’s injustice. The only time I was ever prompted to register to vote was on tumblr. TUMBLR. T U M B L R. By the Democrats, now how do you like them apples? Tumblr is by far the least intellectual part of my life. Somebody’s dropping the ball.
Here is an incomplete list of all the ways I should have been persuaded to vote:
The president of my university should be knocking on the doors in Willetts and I should answer and say Dr. White what on earth are you doing in here this is a girl’s dorm and I want him to say I’m just making sure you remember to vote, that’s very important you know. I would respect that.
Washington D.C. should take a momentary break from sitting there being angry at each other and choreograph a dance video that airs on every TV at 12 noon and somehow educates citizens on how to vote while being engaging and showing a whole new side of the American government.
There should be an email sent out every hour on the hour by President Barack Obama himself with a video message that says YOU SHOULD VOTE HERE’S HOW YOU DO THAT that you can’t unsubscribe from until you are officially a registered voter (at which time you get a video high five from Barack, way to go you good citizen you).
I should walk outside on the morning of October 10th, which according to Google is the last day for me to register to vote, and be picked up by a bald eagle that deposits me at the nearest voter registration center and on the way fills me in impartially on the candidates and their political views.