Freshman year our room motto was MARRIAGE IS EVIL. We cut the letters out of magazines and hung them on our wall to remind everyone that we were still only 17 and not yet ready to fully progress into the adult world. Also to spurn Christian dating culture from the start. After that, the idea that we needed a room motto was fully cemented and Sophomore year we chose NO SHAME. Which sounds much more scandalous that it is.
All that to say, shame is a funny thing. We tie it to all the wrong door posts and not nearly enough of the right ones. Here’s things that feel shameful but aren’t.
1. Tipping anyone besides your waitress.
Have you ever slid your valet two dollars and not felt skeezy? (I only ever directly interacted with a valet once, he was not my valet, and I embarrassed myself thoroughly.)
2. CCing someone on an email.
Feeling like a straight up tattletale.
3. Eating food in the grocery store before you pay for it.
You’re planning on paying for it, but you know the whole establishment thinks you’re scum.
4. Asking someone to take a group picture.
And then explaining how to use your camera four times. And then having your eyes shut in every picture but saying they look great.
5. Putting on sunscreen at the beach.
DON’T SEXUALIZE MY FEAR OF SKIN CANCER.
6. Library book drops.
You just feel closer to a drug deal than you’ve ever been before.
7. Taking notes on your phone in church.
Just notes. I’m taking notes. Who would I be texting on a Sunday morning, grandma.
8. Online dating. But mostly just talking about online dating.
And let’s not even get into tinder.
And to close us out, here are some things that you aren’t ashamed of in the slightest. But you probably should be.
1. Only washing your sheets once every 4 months.
Cause that’s a full body workout and like a day-long project and we’re clean most of the time right? Wrong.
2. Unbuttoning your pants while you’re eating in public.
And then remembering you unbuttoned your pants six hours later after you’ve been walking around all day long.